Every once in a while I find myself in a vulnerable position and need to ask a favor of someone. Many people find asking a favor difficult and that it makes them feel indebted or dependent. Personally, I don’t find asking difficult because I know my heart’s attitude towards reciprocity in society: stranger or friend, I am happy to help anyone who sincerely asks a favor of me. We’re social animals and, therefore, we should not be afraid to help a stranger nor ashamed to receive help.
Inevitably, sometimes we ask for a favor and are disappointment by the lack of fulfillment. Is there any recourse?
It’s impossible to safeguard against ever being disappointed, but we can become better at dealing with it. Here’s my strategy for dealing with unfulfilled favors as they loom and after disappointment hits.
Have you ever had a day when, out of the blue, you felt good about the way you looked? Your hair was just right and your skin was free of blemishes. Looking in the mirror, you couldn’t stop smiling at yourself.
But then you pick up your phone and see the gorgeous (or handsome) faces of Instagram influencers. Or perhaps you walk down the street and see a classic beauty posing for a Tiffany advertisement, or the entrancing faces of Victoria Secret models caught mid-laughter.
At that moment you start to feel like your own beauty is a consolation prize. Sure, you appreciate your own good looks, but a part of you would still give it away in a heartbeat if you could just look like ‘her’.
It’s an uncomfortable, if not emotionally painful, feeling. Why do we feel like this and how can we feel better?
Here are the top 5 posts of 2019 from Emily’s Everything, ranked by number of likes. For a full list of posts, please visit here!
It’s the final week of this journal prompt series that I wrote to help you make introspection and deep thinking a daily habit. We made it! Thanks for reading, liking and commenting throughout the year. I hope you found the content useful, or at least interesting, challenging, and thought provoking! Next year’s blog project TBA! This week’s journal topic: Personal Change There’s a quote on Pinterest usually attributed to Lao Tzu: “When I let go of what I am, I become who I might be.” Regardless of the source – a fake quote or not – I like it. It’s versatile as a reminder that progression requires letting go. Being attached to our identity (i.e., how we choose to perceive and think of ourselves) makes letting go is a difficult and painful process. Letting go is not a “whatever” or “don’t care” attitude, a disinterested shrugging of shoulders. True letting go is a process requiring self-reflection and deep looking inward, followed by recognition of what will be let go and why, motivated by what will …
Haven’t you had the experience of enjoying a salty, crunchy snack when suddenly you crave something sweet? You’ve got sensory fatigue – eating more of the salty snack will continue to decrease satisfaction. How do you get the enjoyment back? In order to enjoy the salty snack again, you need an intermission of something sweet: milk chocolate, ice cream, or some soda.
After thinking about this scenario, would you say that tastes are opposites, or are they complimentary?
What about solitude and togetherness? Sometimes we engage in the craving cycle in relationships. How do we get out when we feel stuck? Can we avoid the cycle without avoiding relationships?
First things first: The winner of this week’s Amazon gift card is announced at the end of today’s post!
It’s Christmastime, which means lots of family gatherings, seeing relatives whom you haven’t contacted all year, and meeting up with friends, and seeing coworkers out of context. The entire month of December is an emotional powder keg.
It’s the season of high emotions and alcohol.
Secrets are revealed by uninhibited revelers. Events happen that we want to keep secret.
What makes a secret a secret? Why does it feel so good to know a secret? And why is it so hard to keep secrets?
Check out this week’s post for answers and, of course, more questions!
Last week I wrote about how to give gifts. (By the way, I had a giveaway planned but the instructions were buried at the end of last week’s post. Let’s try again – be sure to scroll all the way to the end for the instructions so you don’t miss out!)
This week, the topic is how to receive gifts. There is a saying that “it is more important to give than to receive.” If this is true, then naturally we should all want to give. (Indeed, there is a special feeling that comes from giving.) But where would that leave us – who would there be to receive the gifts, favors, and assistance that we are happy to give?
In light of that observation, we must all become both givers and recipients. This means we must be not only skilled at giving gifts, but also prepared to receive what others offer, too. This allows others to practice giving. Let’s talk about the ethics (norms, rules) that tell us how to receive.
Christmas is coming, and I’ve realized that I’m pretty terrible at choosing gifts. My family was not big on celebrations or frivolous gifts. The gifts I received were always practical, bought on a deal, and/or rarely made me feel special. On the bright side, I got a lot of use out of practical gifts, and I’m not complaining.
However, in the last couple of years I’ve received some gifts that were either totally impractical or expensive. They were also well chosen and made me feel special! This got me thinking: what is the difference between the gifts of my past and these gifts? Of course I did some research, and this post is what I came up with.
Thinking about gifts has certainly made gift shopping more fun – I no longer agonize over it and hopefully I won’t give more crappy gifts. I hope this week’s topic helps you as you do your holiday shopping this year!
“Elitism” is a term that gets used a lot in news media as an accusation towards academics, politicians, and wealthy entrepreneurs. It is also sometimes used by social activists who believe that a privileged group is out of touch with the lifestyles, desires, values, and struggles of a disadvantaged group.
There are various genres of elitism, but they all have on thing in common. Elitism is the view that a select group of people have the authority to dictate what is valuable, important, or worthwhile. This select group is known as the “elite”. They hold authority because they have a special quality: class, intelligence, skills, wealth, or experience. Other people don’t have this special quality, and therefore are deemed unworthy to dictate what is valuable, important, and worthwhile.
But wait – isn’t everyone equal? Doesn’t equality mean that everyone’s opinions count equally? On the other hand, aren’t some people actually more qualified than others? Is elitism a good or bad thing? This week’s topic is Pleasure Elitism.
It’s safe to say that money can’t buy happiness. Everyone can think of someone rich & miserable. Fame, too, doesn’t guarantee a high quality life – just consider the list of famous people who committed suicide or became addicts. Feeling lost and disconnected with your life & experiences is a terrible way to live.
Winning the game of life means figuring out your purpose and passion. Wouldn’t that be great? But where do you start? If you want traction on the journey to find yourself, you’ll need to start on solid ground. Only then can you pull yourself forwards. But so far, nothing has excited you. There’s no grip and you’ve got no grit. How can you figure out who you are when you’re clueless? This week’s post introduces a clever method of self-discovery!