All posts tagged: Relationships

Favors, Vulnerability, and Recovery from Disappointment

Every once in a while I find myself in a vulnerable position and need to ask a favor of someone.  Many people find asking a favor difficult and that it makes them feel indebted or dependent.  Personally, I don’t find asking difficult because I know my heart’s attitude towards reciprocity in society: stranger or friend, I am happy to help anyone who sincerely asks a favor of me. We’re social animals and, therefore, we should not be afraid to help a stranger nor ashamed to receive help.

Inevitably, sometimes we ask for a favor and are disappointment by the lack of fulfillment. Is there any recourse?

It’s impossible to safeguard against ever being disappointed, but we can become better at dealing with it. Here’s my strategy for dealing with unfulfilled favors as they loom and after disappointment hits.

Week 50 Questions for Know Thyself 2019: Secrets

First things first: The winner of this week’s Amazon gift card is announced at the end of today’s post!

It’s Christmastime, which means lots of family gatherings, seeing relatives whom you haven’t contacted all year, and meeting up with friends, and seeing coworkers out of context.  The entire month of December is an emotional powder keg.

It’s the season of high emotions and alcohol.
Secrets are revealed by uninhibited revelers. Events happen that we want to keep secret.

What makes a secret a secret? Why does it feel so good to know a secret? And why is it so hard to keep secrets?

Check out this week’s post for answers and, of course, more questions!

Week 49 Questions for Know Thyself 2019: Receiving Gifts

Last week I wrote about how to give gifts. (By the way, I had a giveaway planned but the instructions were buried at the end of last week’s post.  Let’s try again – be sure to scroll all the way to the end for the instructions so you don’t miss out!)

This week, the topic is how to receive gifts. There is a saying that “it is more important to give than to receive.” If this is true, then naturally we should all want to give. (Indeed, there is a special feeling that comes from giving.) But where would that leave us – who would there be to receive the gifts, favors, and assistance that we are happy to give?  

In light of that observation, we must all become both givers and recipients.  This means we must be not only skilled at giving gifts, but also prepared to receive what others offer, too.  This allows others to practice giving.  Let’s talk about the ethics (norms, rules) that tell us how to receive.

Week 38 Questions for Know Thyself 2019: Promises

Promises are a big deal.  Really.  Can you imagine what society would be like without promises? We rely on others to do as they assure us that they will. How would human relationships, partnerships, and friendships function without promises? 

People have different ideas of what a promise is – what it means to promise, how a promise occurs, and what consequences to expect or dole out in response to a broken promise.  The foggy understanding of promises adds tension to relationships.  Improving your understanding of promises has the potential to transform and benefit your interpersonal relationships.  Let’s figure this out! Click to read more.

Week 33 Questions for Know Thyself 2019: Loneliness

Loneliness is a popular topic in the news these days.  News articles tell us that loneliness is the new epidemic, that research is being directed into pharmaceuticals and AI to combat loneliness, and that governments are installing public infrastructure directed at facilitating interactions between strangers.  How is it that we can be so lonely despite living in densely populated cities?  What does it mean to be lonely?

Read more to find out!

Week 11 Questions for Know Thyself 2019: Jealousy & Envy

(This blog is part of a weekly series for Know Thyself 2019, a 365 day journal project. Start here!) This Week’s Journal Topic: Jealousy & Envy Last week the questions were about love. With love, naturally comes jealousy.  Therefore, this week the journal questions are about jealousy and the closely related emotion of envy. Jealousy Jealousy starts in the body as an emotional response to external stimulation. This emotion is rooted in a desire to have exclusive possession of someone/something.  In an external situation, you perceive a threat of rivalry and fear that someone/something will take something away from you.  Within you, it’s a fear of being replaced that might cause you to act in a protective and possessive way. For example, you see your significant other with an attractive person.  You believe that relationships only involve two people (i.e., you want exclusive possession). The other person appears as a rival appears capable of attracting your significant other’s affection.  You experience jealousy – a fear of losing something you value. The physical signs of this …

Can you Be Present AND plan for the Future?

Years ago when I first started doing yoga, I thought the instruction to be present meant that I should eliminate external goals and forget about my future. Since then I’ve figured out that was a big misunderstanding on my part. This post myth-busts pop-culture’s superficial notion of what it means to be present. Being present does not require us to forego planning activity. Don’t equate the practice of being present with never thinking about the future.