All posts tagged: self-help

Favors, Vulnerability, and Recovery from Disappointment

Every once in a while I find myself in a vulnerable position and need to ask a favor of someone.  Many people find asking a favor difficult and that it makes them feel indebted or dependent.  Personally, I don’t find asking difficult because I know my heart’s attitude towards reciprocity in society: stranger or friend, I am happy to help anyone who sincerely asks a favor of me. We’re social animals and, therefore, we should not be afraid to help a stranger nor ashamed to receive help.

Inevitably, sometimes we ask for a favor and are disappointment by the lack of fulfillment. Is there any recourse?

It’s impossible to safeguard against ever being disappointed, but we can become better at dealing with it. Here’s my strategy for dealing with unfulfilled favors as they loom and after disappointment hits.

Your Face is NOT a Consolation Prize

Have you ever had a day when, out of the blue, you felt good about the way you looked?  Your hair was just right and your skin was free of blemishes.  Looking in the mirror, you couldn’t stop smiling at yourself.

But then you pick up your phone and see the gorgeous (or handsome) faces of Instagram influencers.  Or perhaps you walk down the street and see a classic beauty posing for a Tiffany advertisement, or the entrancing faces of Victoria Secret models caught mid-laughter.

At that moment you start to feel like your own beauty is a consolation prize. Sure, you appreciate your own good looks, but a part of you would still give it away in a heartbeat if you could just look like ‘her’.

It’s an uncomfortable, if not emotionally painful, feeling. Why do we feel like this and how can we feel better?

Week 52 Questions for Know Thyself 2019: Personal Change

It’s the final week of this journal prompt series that I wrote to help you make introspection and deep thinking a daily habit. We made it!  Thanks for reading, liking and commenting throughout the year. I hope you found the content useful, or at least interesting, challenging, and thought provoking!   Next year’s blog project TBA! This week’s journal topic: Personal Change There’s a quote on Pinterest usually attributed to Lao Tzu: “When I let go of what I am, I become who I might be.” Regardless of the source – a fake quote or not – I like it.  It’s versatile as a reminder that progression requires letting go.  Being attached to our identity (i.e., how we choose to perceive and think of ourselves) makes letting go is a difficult and painful process.  Letting go is not a “whatever” or “don’t care” attitude, a disinterested shrugging of shoulders.  True letting go is a process requiring self-reflection and deep looking inward, followed by recognition of what will be let go and why, motivated by what will …

Week 46 Questions for Know Thyself 2019: Finding Yourself

It’s safe to say that money can’t buy happiness.  Everyone can think of someone rich & miserable.  Fame, too, doesn’t guarantee a high quality life – just consider the list of famous people who committed suicide or became addicts.  Feeling lost and disconnected with your life & experiences is a terrible way to live.  

Winning the game of life means figuring out your purpose and passion.  Wouldn’t that be great? But where do you start?  If you want traction on the journey to find yourself, you’ll need to start on solid ground. Only then can you pull yourself forwards.  But so far, nothing has excited you.  There’s no grip and you’ve got no grit.  How can you figure out who you are when you’re clueless?   This week’s post introduces a clever method of self-discovery!

Week 41 Questions for Know Thyself 2019: Decisions

Do you suffer from analysis-paralysis? Trust me: there’s no PERFECT decision. What you need is to know what best motivates YOUR decisions, and what makes a good decision FOR YOU. Some people are satisfied by a choice motivated by their religious faith, others choose according to their personal values, and some people want to maximize probability of a desired outcome. What makes you choose option A over option B?

Week 39 Questions for Know Thyself 2019: Clutter

We’re obsessed with stuff.  We fill our homes with things we’ve collected, and when there’s no more room we rent storage lockers to house our stuff. I’ve been there, too. For at least a year I paid $200 a month for a storage locker.  When I look back at that time, I ask myself: What was I thinking?  It’s just a few years later and I have none of the things that I paid so much money to hold on to!  Why didn’t I just let go of it all in the first place, instead of paying at least $2400 to keep a bunch of stuff in a big, dark box?

I’m not the only one who has been through this experience.  It’s made me curious to know, what is the meaning of clutter? And why can’t we let go of all this stuff!?

Click for writing prompts to help you get to the bottom of your clutter.

Week 38 Questions for Know Thyself 2019: Promises

Promises are a big deal.  Really.  Can you imagine what society would be like without promises? We rely on others to do as they assure us that they will. How would human relationships, partnerships, and friendships function without promises? 

People have different ideas of what a promise is – what it means to promise, how a promise occurs, and what consequences to expect or dole out in response to a broken promise.  The foggy understanding of promises adds tension to relationships.  Improving your understanding of promises has the potential to transform and benefit your interpersonal relationships.  Let’s figure this out! Click to read more.

Week 33 Questions for Know Thyself 2019: Loneliness

Loneliness is a popular topic in the news these days.  News articles tell us that loneliness is the new epidemic, that research is being directed into pharmaceuticals and AI to combat loneliness, and that governments are installing public infrastructure directed at facilitating interactions between strangers.  How is it that we can be so lonely despite living in densely populated cities?  What does it mean to be lonely?

Read more to find out!